BLOG: First Stop, Arizona.
Landing sponsored travel has been an active goal of mine since discovering my passion for social media, and the positive impact it can have on our generation. In May 2019, after years of hustle, networking and growth, this goal was achieved. And it’s just the beginning.
FIRST STOP: ARIZONA.
2019’s message was unquestionably clear from the very beginning.
Let go of what you want, in order to make room for what you need and what you seek.
I hadn’t realized just how severely I was neglecting my purpose for living on the west coast, in one of the most thriving cities in my career field. More than that, I also discovered parts of myself that required massive self awareness on my part. They weren’t necessarily toxic, nor harmful. However, they were absolutely holding me back. And when I noticed it was also impacting someone that I so sincerely loved in not-so-positive ways, that’s when my world came to a screeching halt. I was forced to look at this problem dead in the eye, and rather than just keep moving without any sign of stopping, I finally pressed paused on everything around me and turned to prayer. I had been wandering, lost in my own sea of struggles, hardship and heartache. My spirit felt so lost, which terrified me in crippling ways as I’ve never been one to be unsure of anything - let alone myself. Something needed to change. And that change was only going to come from one person.
I don’t need to go into the full story, as it’s really one that really am still writing. Maybe one day, one of these blog posts will tell it all in detail. But for now, here’s what came from making some of the absolute hardest decisions of my life. From letting go of what I feared losing most. From the nights I spent crying until 3 o’clock in the morning, to the nights I found myself sleeping more peacefully than I had in far too long. From looking at my own reflection, and saying, “I’m going to love you right this time.”
Here’s a chapter of that story.
One day, I was packing my little world into boxes to make back to North Hollywood after having moved to Sherman Oaks. Not only was I moving back to the part of the valley where my life in LA had first began, but I had somehow won back my first ever apartment in said city. Yes, that’s right. Same unit, same complex. WHAT? In truth, I never would have left it had it not been for the desire to seek a new housemate. It was a healthy decision to make that came with a huge sacrifice (that sacrifice being having to leave suite 202).
Flash forward to 2019, and I was moving back to where it all started. It almost felt like a second chance, and it couldn’t have been a more profound sign from God that I was making the right decisions that I had known I needed to make for some time.
My soul sister, Grace, called me up one day. “What’re you doing right now?!” she asked me, energetic and lively as ever. I told her that for the next couple weeks, I’d be a packing-n-moving machine, and that I’d go back to being sociable once I’d finally settled into my old/new place.
“Great, well, I’m coming over to help you pack,” she said, not even giving me a second to insist she didn’t consume her day with my responsibilities. Next thing I know, we’re storing things into cardboard boxes and having a big heart-to-heart. That’s the thing about Grace, this gem of a human being. You can tell her anything, and know that she’s listening to you. You know she hears what you’re saying, and that she truly cares.
As we took a break from the packing, I told Grace about the message that was spoken so clearly to me at the beginning of the year: let go of what you want, in order to make room for what you need and what you seek. I told her that without sacrificing what I was most afraid to let go of, despite knowing it needed to be done, I wouldn’t be able to accomplish my goals or have room for everything that I have been praying - begging God to bless me with in my little world. I told her that while my heart was long from fully healed, that it would heal more with time and that I couldn’t wait to see what adventures were in store and what newfound blessings were to come from this.
Grace smiled. “Well…” she pondered. “I have a proposal for you.”
And my gosh, did she ever…